After seven years of living in Boston, my time there quietly came to an end.
Covid hit, my company went remote, and without overthinking it, I asked my manager, “Can I move?”
That question changed my life.
I’d always wanted to live in California. College had kept me closer to home, and while those years taught me a lot, I never really felt settled or like a real adult. I knew something else was waiting for me.
I’ve always moved through life this way. I generally don’t overthink. I don’t always have a plan, but I pay attention to how things feel. I once told my best friend that I don’t even think sometimes, which horrified her, as someone who could easily spiral from her thoughts.
But I’ve learned there’s a difference between being reckless and being intuitive.
San Diego wasn’t a researched decision. I’d only visited twice and barely remembered it. I just knew I liked it. It felt clean. The people seemed nice. LA and San Francisco didn’t feel right, not for any logical reason. They just didn’t.
So I trusted that feeling.
No Plan, Just a Pull
I found an apartment. Signed the lease. Put down the deposit. And suddenly, I was moving across the country, without a five-year plan, without knowing a single person there.
It didn’t feel real until it was time to leave.
Cleaning out my Boston apartment. Loading my car. Hugging my family goodbye. Seeing my mom standing in the doorway, crying as I pulled away.
That’s when it hit me: I’m really doing this.
Starting From Zero
After a two-week road trip, I arrived in San Diego to an empty studio apartment and a completely blank slate. I didn’t know anyone. I had no built-in community. Just me and the decision I had already made.
The first year was a mix of excitement and loneliness.
I worked at a restaurant down the street, intentionally putting myself where I could meet new people. I made friends in my apartment complex, went on Bumble BFF, and said yes when it felt uncomfortable. I trusted that showing up, even awkwardly, mattered.
And it wasn’t easy. I was lonely. There were nights where I was really sad. But I kept going, kept trying, and kept believing that something would click.
It did. Slowly.
What Grew From Trust
Joining my first Volo sports league was a turning point. From there, everything expanded. I made real friendships. My community started to form. Life began to feel full in a way I hadn’t experienced here before.
Five years later, I can honestly say I’ve never had a community like this anywhere else.
I didn’t get here because I had a perfect plan. I got here because I trusted myself and I became intentional about the life I was trying to build.
And that trust and intentionality changed my life.
Looking back, that move wasn’t about San Diego at all. It was about learning to listen to myself. To stop waiting for certainty. To believe that I was allowed to choose a life that felt right, even if I couldn’t justify it to anyone else or myself.
So I wonder:
- Where in your life are you waiting for a plan when you already know?
- What are you holding off on because it doesn’t look logical enough, safe enough, or “thought through” enough?
- And what might be waiting for you on the other side of choosing yourself?
Sometimes the most meaningful shifts don’t start with a roadmap.
They start with making a decision.
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